


Our Brother

by a_m_c_7



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Coda, Complete, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Episode: s11e23 Alpha and Omega, Explicit Language, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sam Winchester (mentioned) - Freeform, Self-Sacrificing Dean Winchester, Unrequited Castiel/Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 00:27:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15740379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_m_c_7/pseuds/a_m_c_7
Summary: The brother thing, it was the best Dean could do. He wasn’t denying that there was something more between them, that maybe, in different – much different – circumstances, in some alternate dimension, they could’ve been something else. But here, in this reality, he couldn’t do that.---Coda to s11e23 Alpha and Omega





	Our Brother

“…you're always there, you know?”

Dean really, really hoped Cas was getting this. Not just hearing it, but really getting it, you know.

“You're the best friend we've ever had. You're our brother, Cas. I want you to know that.”

Dean glanced over, caught Cas’ eye, heard his terse “Thank you.” Shit, he sounded kinda annoyed, didn’t he? Dean took a breath, contemplating saying more, but his cellphone rang.

Shit.

Dean answered, talked to Sam, and hung up to a tense silence. Cas was looking out the window of the Impala. Dean sighed. Tapped his fingers against the steering wheel.

“Look, Cas, I - ...” His tapping turned into a tight grip on the wheel. “I…yeah, well… hey, I interrupted you before, didn’t I? What were you gonna say?”

Cas didn’t turn from the window. “It doesn’t matter.”

“‘Course it matters, Cas. What was it, somethin’ about Lucifer?”

“No. It was about you.”

Well, then. Not quite the change of topic Dean was hoping for.

Dean forced out a chuckle. “Well, maybe it _doesn’t_ matter, in that case.” That’s it. Go for some humor with a side of self-deprecation. The Dean Winchester Special.

“Dean.” Except Cas didn’t sound amused, or annoyed, or anything that would move this conversation away from dangerous – not to mention awkward – territory. He just sounded… tired. Defeated.

Which, you know, was understandable, given that freakin’ _God_ was dying at the moment.

Yep. Okay. Dean was gonna shut up now. He shouldn’t have said anything in the first place. But, you know, end of the world, dying last words, and all that. Serves him right for trying to be all touchy-feely.

Just, he thought Cas’d get it. The brother thing, it was the best Dean could do. He wasn’t denying that there was something more between them, that maybe, in different – much different – circumstances, in some alternate dimension, they could’ve been something else. But here, in this reality, he couldn’t do that. He was giving Cas all he could.

Not to mention that making a move now, when the world was ending and they were both about to die, would be totally… well, it would suck. He was already gonna lose Cas, and Sam, and everyone else and go off to wherever it was he was gonna spend eternity (Hell, probably, if it even still existed after all this). If he started something with Cas _now_ …

And anyway, even if the world wasn’t ending, Dean wouldn’t. He couldn’t. There were too many other variables – the hunting, the almost constantly impending Apocalypse that seemed to follow him around, the fact that his life was never, ever, just about him. And of course there was Sam, who he couldn’t just abandon to go traipse around with a freakin’ wingless Angel of the Lord in a middle-aged dude’s body. But Dean could do the brother thing. Heck, he was even good at the brother thing. He just wanted Cas to understand.

“Dean. Look at me.”

“Huh? Wha--?” Eloquent as always, Dean.

“Look at me.”

Oh.

Dean did as told, heart not stopping its panicked racing (when had that started happening?), as he prepared to face Cas’ holy wrath. Instead he found Cas looking at him, gaze sympathetic and… slightly bemused?

“Dean.” Cas quirked up one side of his mouth. “Calm down.”

Dean looked back at the road. Opened his mouth. Closed it. Cleared his throat. Opened his mouth again. “I’m, uh – yeah. I’m perfectly calm.” He glanced again at Cas.

Cas didn’t look very convinced, but he let it go. “I understand.”

Dean was confused, which must have shown on his face because Cas interrupted him before he could ask what Cas was talking about.

“Dean.” Jesus, why did the guy have to say his name so often? “I understood.”

Wait.

Dean looked over at Cas, who nodded once and repeated, “I understood.”

Oh.

Well. That’s… yeah. Awesome.

Dean wrenched his eyes away from Cas’ face before he ran the Impala off the road.

“I get it, Dean. It’s not like I don't want more, but I get it. And… I just want you to know that I understood.”

Dean cleared his throat before speaking, but still managed only a whisper. "Thank you.”


End file.
